Self-Confidence is something everyone wants more of,
but we don't always know where to start.
I used to be super shy and quiet because I was so self-conscious and wanted to prevent people from thinking negative things about me.
Now I know I have no control over what other people think, and the more ME I am, the deeper the connections I make.
How does one muster up the courage to be unapologetically themself,
not care so much about what others think,
and dare I say be fiercely confident?
WHERE TO START:
1: Stop Deflecting Positivity
Simply say, "Thank You."
No other words or justification needed.
Deflecting Example:
Person A: "Oh hey! I love that color on you!"
Person B: "Oh my goodness, stop! No, YOU look so beautiful today. I love your shoes!!"
Receiving Example:
Person A: "Oh hey! I love that color on you!"
Person B: "Oh wow, thank you!"
Feeling a little squirmy?
It's okay. Just breathe. Let the compliment land without immediately deflecting the attention away from yourself. Hear it. Try to find reasons why it's true. Allow yourself to believe it and feel good.
2: THINK KIND THOUGHTS ABOUT YOURSELF.
This one is a little harder, but it is DOABLE. Start with the easy stuff!
Eyes Example:
"My eyes are pretty."
Personality Example:
"I love that I can make people laugh."
Existential Example:
"I am so much more than my appearance, my body, and my human form. I AM QUITE LITERALLY MADE OF STARDUST."
Enoughness Example:
"Hey, remember that one time I was cell and now I'm a full-blown, adult person?
Yeah, it's hard but I do it anyway."
Mom-ing Example:
"Hey, remember that one time I created a human with my own body? Yeah, that was pretty remarkable of me."
Life Example:
"Hey, remember when I shared my resources, with someone in need?
Yeah, that was generous of me."
You can think ANYTHING you want about yourself,
it might as well be kind and serve a good purpose.
Reminder: Confidence is not arrogant.
Arrogance = Measuring yourself above others, it's repulsive, and requires a hierarchy.
Confidence = Feeling secure, knowing you're important, and knowing that others are too, it's contagious and lifts the rising tide.
Confidence yields wonderful energy for yourself and others.
Don't let anyone ever tell you it's selfish or a waste of time.